I'm sorry for what I've become
For letting you down, and not being what I should have been.
I'm sorry for not graduating and making you proud.
Sorry for letting you down so many times.
For being a drug addict at a time
For stealing from you, for lying to you, for hurting you.
What will I do on the day that you leave this Earth?
I'll have no more guidence. I'll be so alone.
I've already lost my father. What will become of me when everyone else leaves too?
Without my family, I am nothing. Well.. I've been nothing.
I never did anything with my life nor made myself into someone you could boast about to your friends at work.

I'm sorry that when you look at me, all you can see is dad.
I'm sorry we fight all the time and I depress you.
I guess if I had turned out to be a daughter you were proud of, we wouldn't fight.
I should've been the girl who had all these ribbons and frames with awards in them, so show my achievements.
If dad was here, he'd be so upset. Probably wouldn't ever talk about me to his friends. He would see how I've fucked myself over in life.
Or maybe if he was here, things would've turned out different.

I would've graduated.
Gone to college.
Gotten a degree and become a photographer. I would've made you proud, daddy.
Brought in tons of money and taken care of you and mom.
But no.
I work at a movie theatre, for $7.25, for only 2 days a week.
Oh, and I work at Sears too.
Don't look down at me. You won't like what you see. No one does.

I've hurt everyone I've come in contact with.
But I don't want to see like I'm another pathetic 19 year old who talks about suicide.
Above everything that's happened in my life, I don't know if I would change it, except for my father, to have him back again.

I love you all. And I will try to be someone someday and make you proud.